Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
false alarm. still invincible.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
