I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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