The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
