You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
