its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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