Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
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I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same