Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea