Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?