How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
