ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Every concussion has its silver lining
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
