I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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