I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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