Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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