did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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