I wish I could teleport
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize