dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
