you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
