During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
