And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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