Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
