Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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