just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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