it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
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Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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