I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
