Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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