You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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