I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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