He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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