kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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