i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Found the puke drawer
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
