Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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