Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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