you win again, gameday.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
