did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do herpes really smell.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
