hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
