Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
