I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
