i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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