careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
