Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
