I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
