If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize