Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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