I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
