Whod you bang
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
