Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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