How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
