Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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