what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
