Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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