make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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