I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
