It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
