I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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