Don't make out with my wife yet
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
