She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
