I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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