My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
