I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize