I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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