I cockslap morals
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
