So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
