Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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