what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
