just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
