just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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