Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My pussy is not your playground.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
