She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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