Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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